Baby Name List

 Previously I gave a list of 7 names that I like. Last month I started to get more serious about it. I will likely need pick one within the year. So I am being more serious about it.

I have always thought that I wouldn't pick a name until I meet a baby. I think a name has a lot of meaning and power. I don't think I can decide a name without ever seeing the baby. However, I can still eliminate names I don't like and compile of the remaining names. I think being able to review and look over the list during the pregnancy will help me decide when the time comes.

Filtering for Popularity

As you know my main requirement is that the name isn't too popular. My name is pretty unique and I never shared the name with someone in my class, grade or even school. It was only a few years ago that I shared the name with a co-worker. While I don't need a name that is that unique, I want to aim for a name that the baby won't share with classmates at least. 

So what I did was I went back to the social security website and looked up the top 1,000 names for girls and boys in for each year from 2010, 2012, 2014-2019. I put all of them names and the number of people who were given that name in excel. Then I had excel add the numbers together by year. There ended up being 1,251 girl names and 1,224 boy names in the top 1000 sometime in those years. 

Then, I sorted by top names. Liam for boys and Emma for girls. I decided to highlight the names in red if I didn't like them and orange if I was interested in them. I immediately made the first 100 names in girls and boys names red. While I wouldn't mind using a name with was number 90, but a name that is 90 in the last decade might shoot up to top 25 in the next decade. That is what happened to my sister, Caitlin. There are that many Caitlin's her age, but a it became pretty popular in the next decade or two. So I want to try to avoid that if I can. 

After that I went down the list and highlighted the cells orange or red depending on whether or not I liked it. There were a few names that were the same as the top 100 but with different spellings, so I looked out for that too.

When I went through all of the names I realized some of the names that I have been jotting down in the last few years weren't on the list so I added those to the bottom.

Middle Names = Family Names

You might know that I am a genealogist. I have a tree on Ancestry and it almost has 4,500 people on it. I also have the tree cross posted on a some other sites, but I don't updated them as much. I was lucky because my Grandma and her cousin did a lot of work on their side of the family and my Uncle had a lot of information on my Dad's side of the family. So it was easy to grow the tree after I entered their information. I always think it's so cute when parents name a child after grandparents (first or last names) or great grandparents (first or last names). Although it can be frustrating if the person's 10 other siblings also name their child after their parents. Luckily, people don't tend to reuse names in this day an age. 

I mainly want to use Melissa after my Mom and Bernard after my Dad and his Dad. Some names will not go with Melissa or Bernard so back up middle names that I have are, below:

Louisa - my grandmother's middle name which was her great grandmother's name. 

and

Walter - Grandma Mary Louisa's father's name 

These were the top two backup names, but if Walter and Louisa also didn't go with the first name then I used the names below:

Grace - Grandpa Bill's grandmother's name

Helen - my Aunt's name

Hazel- Grandma Mary Louisa's mother's name

Frances- Hazel's mother

Harriet- After meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, my 4th great grandparents named their daughter Harriet and she named her daughter Harriet as well.

William - my grandfather's name

Eli - Walter's middle name and his father's name

Arthur- William's grandfather's name

Leonard- Grandmother Rose's maiden name

Griffin- Frances's maiden name

If the name didn't go with my top two middle names I just looked at my family tree and tried to find a middle name that suited the first name. So there is no reason why I picked on over the other. I also used some relative names as first names as well. There was one middle name that was not a family name. It is paired with the first name of Louisa and I was having trouble finding a good name to go with that. Since Louisa is a family name I think it's ok to use a different name.

On telling my brother my idea for middle names he said he liked the name Louisa. So I might have to rethink using that as a middle name. I will have to determine if he would really use it or not before giving up on it.

Baby Name's List

After I narrowed down between names I would never use and possible names. I sorted by color I had 85 girl names and 66 boy names. So I took another look at it and sorted between names that I thought were okay and names that I might actually use. I changed the color to yellow if I thought I would actually use it. Then I ended with 35 girl names and 40 boy names. So I put in middle names for all of the yellow cells. 

I wanted to be able to share my list with people and get opinions from people. I have noticed with couples they can bounce ideas off of each other and that can help narrow down the names. Since I am doing this on my own, I wanted to get input from other people. I added the names to babynames.com. It allows for 100 names so I added orange names to the list to make it 50 girl names and 50 boy names. So you won't know which names I like more than other. Also, I don't know why the list is in the order that it is. I might also put a poll on the blog.

Week 4 or is it 5 of Pregnancy

 So after my appointment for a blood test my doctor called and said my hcg levels are 97.2. Normal levels at 14 days from conception is 3 - 426. Friday was 13 days from my IUI but fertilization can take place in a few hours or up to two days later. So it could be even less days from fertilization. So I am going back on Thursday the 24th for a second blood test to make sure the levels are going up.

On Sunday, week 3, day 6, I couldn't help myself and used a pregnancy strip again. I still have a bunch and I wanted to see if it was darker. Also I have been having some cramps that made me nervous, though I think it is just gas and constipation. So I took the test during the Cardinals game against Washington. I think at most it had been 3 hours since I went to the bathroom, but it was much darker than my test on Friday morning. Still not as dark as the control line, but it eased my mind.

On Monday, week 4, day 0, it was my Mom's birthday and my sister, brother and niece went over to celebrate. I was working from home and my sister only works on Tuesdays and Thursdays right now. So on Saturday, I bought a beer glass that said world's best grandpa and a wine glass that said world's best grandma. Which I brought over with my real gift for my Mom. Glasses

I arrived at 8 a.m. and started working. My mom was getting ready and my dad was at the gym. I was on me own until around 9ish when my mom and sister's option class started. My dad was babysitting Naomi.

So I continued working until around lunch time when my brother finally arrived with a big basket of goodies for my mom. I gave my mom her presents next. The real present was a tuft & needle pillow. I have one on my bed and my parents have the mattress. She liked the pillow, but can be picky so we'll see if she keeps it. Then I gave her the glasses. She opened the beer glass first and then the wine glass. She liked them both, but no one at the table figured out that I got them the gift to make an announcement.

My sister meanwhile gave Mom a necklace and an ornament for the car. She also got her a phone holder for the car but my brother got her that as well.

I meanwhile was trying to think of a good way to say I was pregnant since they didn't get it with the glasses. So as my sister was helping my mom put the necklace on. I pointed at the glasses and said, "I didn't get these just because of Naomi."

Immediately Caitlin and Mom looked up from what they were doing. Their eyes were so wide and their mouths were open in surprise. I have never seen someone's jaws drop in real life. I could tell that my dad didn't hear what I said, and my brother still didn't understand at that point.

After a few seconds Caitlin and my Mom alternating in saying, "What?" "Are you serious?" and me nodding along and finally my Mom said, "You're pregnant?!" 

It was only then that my brother and Dad figure out what was going on. 

Everyone was very happy to hear the news and excited. I know that it is a big change, especially since I am single, but they know I have been wanting this for a long time. Anyway after that I told them about the IUI and when I took the pregnancy test and etc.

I don't plan to tell anyone else until the normal time, around Thanksgiving, but I think it is ok to tell a core group earlier as long as you know that you might have to tell them about a miscarriage later. I know that they could read it on my blog, but I am pretty sure no one reads this blog.

On Monday night I added a pregnancy tracker to my phone and it says I am 4 weeks along, but my period app says I am 5 weeks. I guess the pregnancy app shows the completed week and the period app shows the current week. 

On Tuesday, I woke up with a kinda stuffy nose. That can be a symptom of pregnancy because the blood vessels in your nose get bigger. I have been social distancing and staying at home, so I probably don't have a cold. 

I actually took another pregnancy test, it's the last I swear, my sister asked for the others. It was as dark as the control line finally! It makes me feel better that it is progress. 

I was doing a little research, 75% of miscarriages happen in the first two weeks (which I already past). The third week of pregnancy since conception (or 5th from the last missed period) the risk of a loss is 21%, but since my levels are going up that is a good sign. After the 5th week, the risk is just 5%. I had a 25% chance of pregnancy this time, so I will feel much better once I get past this week. 

Since Wednesday, I woke up feeling less constipated and gassy, so I haven't had as many cramps which is nice since they are worrisome but that was my main symptom so now I don't feel pregnant. Sometimes when I lean over my breast will be tender but not every time. I have had some hints of nausea usually after taking the prenatal, but it usually goes away quickly and isn't strong so I still don't feel too different.

On Thursday, Week 4, day 4 I went to the doctors to retest my blood. I had an HCG of 1882. So much higher which is what they want to see. They also ran some other test and my thyroid was sluggish again. I know that is common in pregnancy and it can lead to miscarriage, but even if it doesn't result in a miscarriage there can be developmental delays. The growing embryo will take what it needs from the mother so the best case scenario is that the baby gets all the thyroid it needs but you will be deficient. I haven't noticed any symptoms like tiredness or weight gain, so hopefully it wasn't going on for too long. 

Since I am still going to the fertility center, they of course are looking our for risks of miscarriage like a low thyroid. Not every doctor will test for a low thyroid this happened to my sister, but she insisted they test her thyroid which was sluggish, so it was good that she advocated for herself.

I am not scheduled for an ultrasound in two weeks. I can't believe I have to wait another two weeks. It will be difficult to wait since I don't feel very pregnant yet. I might post an update next week if there is anything interesting to post, but I will probably wait and do an update in two weeks.

One other announcement, last Saturday my roommate told me that she is moving out. She is visiting her mom, but is going to come and get her stuff this Saturday. It will be nice to have the house to myself again, but I paid off a year's worth of my mortgage since she's been here. Plus it was nice having a friend around during quarantine. She is a child-free person so I figured she wouldn't stay around too long after I told her I was pregnant, she maybe suspected something is up because she noticed I haven't been drinking as much wine. She also saw my gonal-f shot in the fridge and she could easily google what that is used for. Also, she has been hinting at moving for a few months now. 

At least I can get her room and bathroom deep cleaned and ready for the nursery. I think I like themes like zoo animals/safari or space, but I'm not sure. I told my cousin to do penguin theme, but she choose woodland. However telling her to do penguin made me realize that you can just pick one animal like penguins or whales or even clouds or cactus to be the theme. So I might try to be simple like that too. 

I read that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends infants share a room, but not a bed with parents for at least six months, but ideally a year. Since I am single I don't see that as a problem. I have a big vanity in my room that I could move out and fit a crib. So maybe it is too early to plan a baby's room.

It's been two weeks and it's positive

 

First things first! My at home pregnancy test had two lines! The test line is about a quarter of the darkness of the control line but it is there. I can hardly believe it. 

The first day I tested was 8 days past ovulation (dpo) and it was negative. That was not surprising. I saw some videos on youtube where ladies said they got a positive on 8 days and I was sick of waiting. My ovulation kit had and still has a lot of pregnancy strips so I didn't feel guilty about testing so early.

On DPO 9 I did notice some "spotting" when I wiped. It was just a slightly rustier color than normal. It was lighter spotting than in August so I wasn't sure if it was true. Plus it was a few dpos later than last cycle so I wasn't sure.

After that I waited two days to test again. I know the earliest response it 5 days before missed period, so I thought there was a chance. After three minutes I looked and I didn't see a line. I have been working from my parents home on Tuesdays so I went over there. That evening with the bright lights from my bathroom I saw a super faint line. It was so faint I wasn't sure it was there. So I checked it probably 100 times! The next morning I took the test again when I woke up. But I laid down to wait and fell asleep for another hour. But sure enough there was a light line but it was darker than Tuesday but still very faint. I took a test in the morning again around 6 am. You are supposed to do the tests in the morning because the urine is more concentrated and the HCG hormone can build up enough to show up in your urine. Well, I have been peeing a lot more (I guess that is a symptom of pregnancy), generally I never wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, but on Tuesday I went to bed at 10 but got up at 11:30 and at 3:30 to go the the bathroom. So I probably should have tested at 3:30am since that wsa the longest time holding between trips to the bathroom. So I thought that was why the line was faint.

During the day, I honestly thought I was seeing things and didn't believe what I was seeing. So I did some searching online and it said that the tests will say what time you should look at the tests (between 3-5 minutes for mine) and if you miss the time then a faint line could be an evaporation line. So it could be that or it could be light because I had gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night. So on Wednesday night I decided if got up in the morning to pee then I would test then instead. I did get up but this time it was at 2:30ish so it was basically right in the middle of the night. I took the test then and waited the appropriate 3 minutes and the test was positive. It was darker than the previous tests but still very light. I had barely got in 4 hours of holding it which the internet says that it at least needs to be that long. But I was more confident that it was there.

Thursday afternoon, I realized it had been 4 hours or even longer since I went to the bathroom. So I tested again once I had to go and this time the test was darker enough that I could take a picture of it and send it to my friend Kelsi. She confirmed that she saw it too! It was only after that that I felt like it was really real. I was so excited I even yelled woohoo! 

Yesterday evening my roommate Paloma, left to go visit her mom in Mexico for three weeks. She said to me, "Don't get pregnant." 

I said, "I won't." I thought, "I can't get pregnant if I already am."
Today was the day I was supposed to officially take the test and call into the clinic. Since I still have strips I took the test again in the morning, once again after having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. I called in around 6:30 am and left a message with the nurse's triage. I am going it at 10:30am for a blood test. So I will officially know. 

So the first week I had some side effects to the progesterone cream and maybe some left over to the trigger shot, so I won't count that. But in the last day or two I have noticed some soreness in my breasts. It doesn't hurt all the time but I don't usually get tender or sore breasts so I think it is because of pregnancy. The nipples are a bit painful as well. Another symptom is constipation/gas. I have even had some cramping because of the constipation. It makes me a little nervous but I took some metamucil last night to help. I have also been nauseas I feel less nauseas than that one day in August, but I do get little bouts of it. I know the real nausea starts around week 6 so it could get worse yet. My sister did have some morning sickness but it wasn't all day or too much or anything. In Expecting Better it says people who have mornings sickness are less likely to miscarry compared to people who have no morning sickness. So I won't mind having some. One symptom that might be more unusual is that I have been cold more often. I keep my house temp at 77 now that I have a roommate. For most people that would be pretty warm but it's generally comfortable to me, but my feet have been getting cold. I have needed to wear socks to bed or put a blanket on my lap while working. I haven't really seen that as a symptom of pregnancy but it is not a normal thing for me

IUI #3

 I you didn't read my San Diego trip post, I had an update at the end.

My cycle started Monday the 24. I noticed that it is different than my normal flow. I had more cramps than normal, but not as intense as when I was a teenager. Also, the blood was brownish-black, I have never had brown blood on the first day before and I have never had black blood. I read that this could be old blood and my cycle was 5 days longer than normal because of the progesterone. Another reason for black blood is a sign of a miscarriage. Because of the spotting in the middle of the two week and the nausea I think the latter might be the cause. I know in the previous IUI post I said I was going to assume it was just symptoms from the IUI and medication, but now I think they were early pregnancy symptoms. Even though it is a bummer that it didn't stick, I'm glad to know that the procedure worked. 

So this IUI, the plan is to do a "combo cycle" (as I have seen it called on other blogs). On day 3 of my cycle I went in for an ultrasound to check. They do this to make sure that there isn't any growths as the medications can cause this. I did have on fibroid, but that isn't concerning so I was good to go. 

On the 27th of August, I started taking femara, two tablets a day from day 4 to day 7. It doesn't matter when you take them, but you have to take them the same time every day. I took them at noon since I'm working from home. I usually fast in the morning so I wanted to make sure stopped fasting. That night when I was in bed I had a hot flash. At first I didn't know what it was but I was extremely hot, and I knew heat came from inside me the air was cool in the room. It didn't last very long, but I did notice it.

The femara is used to treat the lh/fsh imbalance. I have been researching lh/fsh imbalance since the diagnosis and I was getting frustrated because the results are always about PCOS. I don't have any other symptoms of PCOS like acne or hair growth, my cycles pretty regular though they are on the longer side. After researching a lot about PCOS I don't think I have it, but if there is a pre-PCOS perhaps that is what I have. PCOS has a 3:1 imbalance and I have a 2:1, my cycles are long, but I do get them regularly and my follicle count was in the normal range for my age, but on the higher side of normal. Also my sister has irregular cycles, so maybe it is in our genes. I know PCOS doesn't mean you can't get pregnant, it can be harder though since it might be hard to predict ovulation.

On day 6 of my cycle I also added in Gonal-F shots. That is right, I had to put three shots in my tummy on day 6, 8, 10. Gonal-F is also used for IVF but the dose for an IUI is much smaller. The goal is to get 2-4 follicles that grow during the cycle. Because of the gonal-f there is a risk of twins and triplets. The risk of triplets isn't too big, but some studies show that 25% of pregnancies are twins, on the low end the studies say 18%. I would prefer not to have twins, but I think I could handle twins if that happened. The rate of triplets isn't enough to make me worried.

On day 7, I had a really strong wave of nausea. I had taken the femara for that day about an hour before and I had to lay down for about 30 minutes. I really thought I was going to be sick, but after about 30 minutes it went away. I don't know if it was from the femara or the combo for femara and Gonal-F the day before. That was the last day of femara, and I didn't get nauseous after that. 

On the first after, the day after the second gonal-F shot, I was so sleepy that I started falling asleep on the couch at 8pm so at 9 I went to bed and stayed in bed until 6-6:30 the next day. I wasn't having trouble sleeping the other days, and didn't do anything too strenuous. So it might have been the medications. 

The next morning I had an ultrasound to count the follicles and see when to trigger my ovulation. I did the last gonal F shot before I left. The ultrasound was at 7:30am. My uterine lining was 9.5 mm which was good. On the right ovary I had an 18 mm follicle which is good, and a 10 mm follicle which the tech said is a "maybe." On the left ovary there was a 17 mm follicle also good, and a 10 mm which is also a maybe. So the IUI was scheduled for Saturday the 11th at 10:30 am. I would took the trigger shot on Thursday at 10:30 pm.

A 12 mm follicle could produce an egg and as you approach ovulation a follicle can gain 2 mm a day. So the two tens could have gotten to 12 mm prior to the trigger shot, maybe they could even get to 12 after to still be affected by the the trigger shot, however, the techs at the initial ultrasound said they would tell me if triplets were more likely. So, I don't think the tech was concerned about that happening. So the chance of twins is there with the two follicles, but not triplets. 

The chance of pregnancy with an IUI without gonal-f is about 25% after 2 cycles, well with gonal-f it is closer to 25%. So basically the extra follicle doubles my chances. 

Now two things have made me super hopeful that this is the cycle. I am skeptic so I try to not allow my emotion or "signs" cloud my judgment, but sometimes the "signs" are fun!

The first sign is that I plugged my IUI date in a due date calculator, the due date is my birthday! I feel like that is a sign, because it is a day that is unique to me, so it's like the cards are aligning to work.

The second sign was more strange and eerie. The fertility center has made accommodations because of covid-19. So when you arrive you text from your car to check in. Then wait until they send a message back saying you can come in. I had already sent the message and was playing a game on my phone. Then suddenly the name Petra came into my head. It felt very bizarre and out of no where. 

I know this sounds weird but last year when I did the first IUI, I felt like there was this little girl on the other side of the vial waiting to be born. During that time, I could swear her name was Naomi. I could really feel that she was really out there. I don't even believe in this stuff, and I haven't ever had names picked out. I always thought I would need to meet a baby before I could name them. When I decided to wait for the second IUI, I felt like I had killed this being. Well, my sister had her baby last November, she and her husband didn't have a name for the baby until they were leaving the hospital. It was Naomi!!! 

So that sudden thought of Petra felt the exact same way. It was just whispering to me. So I think it will work and I think she will be Petra. It feels so weird to me because I really think it is weird if people have a name picked out for a baby before they are born. Sure people have names in mind, but I think it's weird to know prior to meeting that baby, but I just had this feeling, and it was before I even went inside. Also even though I do like the name Petra I'm not sure I would have used it. I think I will still have to meet her/hold her to know for sure, but I just have this feeling.

So since the IUI on Saturday, I haven't had too many symptoms. I did have some cramps, but they weren't as painful that first day. I still have some tenderness today. I know that aren't symptoms until the fertilize egg implants. So I'm not stressing out too much. The spotting I had last cycle was on DPO 7, which I think was implantation bleeding. So on this coming Saturday I will be on the look out, but I am going to try to wait to test to the end of the two week wait so I will check in then.

San Diego Summer Trip 2020

Saturday the 8th, was the first day in San Diego we arrived in mid afternoon. My Mom, Dad and brother went to downtown San Diego. Where we went to The Fish Gaslamp for a drink and fish tacos. Of course I didn't drink. I told everyone that I was slight hungover from the day before. After the dinner we walked over the convention center and walked down the walking path along San Diego Bay. It was so beautiful out. We walked all the way to the Navy ships and back. We went to Petco Park to see if we could look at the baseball game, but it was closed. We went back to the house near Mission. My sister, her husband, his son, their daughter and their dog were finally there. We didn't do that much that night, just talked, played with the baby, and said what we wanted to do in the morning.

On Sunday we went to get Acai bowls, at Clairmont Coffee, my Mom's favorite place. The Acai bowls were good, but I won't say that were the best of the best, but we did end up going two other times. After that we went grocery shopping for the week. We planned for two dinners in and breakfasts as well as some little things to make lunch. Then we called a family friend about fun things to do in San Diego during covid. The boys went to hit golf balls.

After that we had a little lunch and then went to Mission Beach. At the beach I went all the way into the ocean even getting my hair wet. I usually think the ocean in California is freezing, but I don't think I've ever been in August. It was cold, but not too cold perhaps it was late enough in the summer and the day. I went in a few times first just to calves and then shoulders before finally going in all the way. It has been a long time since I have been in the ocean. Everyone was drinking at the beach so I had my Yeti filled up with a Icee and ginger ale mix but no booze. It seemed like I drank a lot though!

We made a carniceria with steak, grilled veggies and tortillas delicious! We played apples to apples. I got a Budweiser (my dad's fav) and poured it out in the toilet. Then rinsed it out in the sink and filled it with water. Then I could really drink out of the can and the water was nice after a long day and all the fizzy drinks at the beach. I lost the first round of Apples to Apples and my sister made a rule that if one of your cards wasn't picked you had to sit under the table the next round. So Kian my step-nephew and I had to sit under the table, more on the ground, until we finally got a card picked. Guess it was lucky for Kian because he won the next game.

On Monday after we woke up my sister and mom worked on their stock options, my brother in law was working as well. My dad was watching the baby, so I started bacon and then made the egg scramble. My Mom eventually helped by toasting bread or bagels to make an egg sandwich.

After they returned, we went to fiesta island, which is a beach that you can bring your dogs which my sister did. I walked there it took an hour. I wanted to walk along the coast but I thought the directions on my phone were wrong! So I took a different route, that was just a normal suburbs streets. I didn't wear sun screen on my arms just on my shoulders, chest and face and they got sun burned a little bit. My brother in law rode is bike to meet us but a little later. 

We hung out at the beach throwing the ball for the dog, playing with the baby and we had paddle boards which some of us used around the cove. The water was even warmer than that day before because it was in a cover, but I didn't get my hair went because no one would swim across with me. 

After the beach we went to the fish shop. It was so good! I got a fish plate with seared tuna which was so good. Everyone else got tacos. My brother-in-law let me try some shrimp which was also amazing. I ordered a canned beer only pretended to drink it.

When we were done we went to play miniature golf and ice cream. It was fun, and I did well on some holes, but other holes I did horrible. 

On Tuesday that boys woke up and went to breakfast and golfing. Kian's favorite! They took the truck but my Dad took the keys to my mom's car. So we couldn't use the car. My sister and brother in law have a work truck at the house so we were able to use that to get acai bowls, but only two people could fit in the car. However we couldn't really do anything activities until they got back. At least we convince them to only do 9 holes.

When they returned the girls decided that we wanted to do a hike, Dad and Tyler came too. My brother's friend Alex met us because he was in town. The hike was super hot and it took me a while to get up to the top, but I did it! 

After the hike we went back to the house, some people went to fiesta beach again, but I stayed at the house and rested. 

When everyone was back we made chick kebabs, we had to get a few more because of Alex and my sister couldn't eat the ones from Vons. So we got a few from Sprouts. The sprouts ones were better. Next time we are only getting those. We also got roasted potatoes.

After that we played cranium the teams were Dad, Mom, Me, the Andersons, and Tyler with Alex. Tyler and Alex play that game more often. My team won! I was a good drawer, my mom was a good at the language clues and my dad was a good actor. We were all good guessers.

On Wednesday, we had a slow start. We had egg sandwiches again. Tyler and Alex wanted to golf again and Dave was willing to. So Tyler and Alex went to the mission course to put their name in and hit golf balls. Dave followed.

After they were done, we decided to try to go to balboa park and Coronado island. I went with my mom and dad. Balboa wasn't interesting to my mom so we went to Coronado, but  my brother and Alex stayed there. At Coronado we just walked around and eventually went to the brewery. I didn't drink anything, but my mom gave what was leftover in her can of wine. I would have liked the beer though. 

On the way back to the car I stopped in a shop and got a mug for my roommate since she was watching my dog. She loves mugs and tea so I knew she would like it.

That night we went back to the fish shop. I got tacos with everyone that night. They weren't my favorite tacos/fish tacos, but the fish was very good. I think the plates are better in my opinion, but I can be picky about my tacos. I did substitute shrimp in one of the tacos and that was better than the mahi which was dry. I ordered a canned beer again but this time I cleaned out the can in the bathroom and put water in it. That night we played uno, except for Tyler and Alex. I won the first round and Dave won the second.

On Thursday, my parents, brother and I went home. Alex went to LA. The Andersons stayed another day.

Update on my fertility journey. My cycle just started Monday the 24. I noticed that it is different than my normal flow. About twice a year, I will have a cycle I feel more cramps this time, than normal. Also, the blood is brownish-black, since my period came five days after stopping progesterone, it could be because the blood is a little older, but it could also be a sign of a miscarriage. So now I am leaning to believing that I was spotting from implantation in San Diego. So I think the egg was fertilized, but I the pregnancy didn't take. I think people who have been trying to conceive count a miscarriage as a good sign and I'm going to as well. 

I can drink wine again! TTC IUI #2 update;

The two week wait is over and I got a big fat negative. I might have taken a test on Saturday, and Sunday, and Monday, and Tuesday, so I was already prepared, but it's still a bummer. 

It is kind of a bummer because I swear I had some early pregnancy symptoms including some spotting a week ago. I was using progesterone cream every night and some of the side effects are similar to pregnancy, but last week while using the bathroom I had a little redish coloring when I wiped. Not a lot, but something I might see a day or two after my period ends. So I thought that might be implantation bleeding. I did read that up to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but up to 75% of the miscarriages happen before the fifth week of pregnancy (third week from ovulation). A woman might not even realize she is pregnant and might only have a slightly heavier period. I also read that early miscarriages like this is because of a chromosome imbalance. So perhaps I did really see some spotting, or maybe I was just hoping.

So, the first week after my IUI I went to San Diego. I noted some cramping. Last time I remember cramping the day of the IUI and maybe the next day, but not after that. This time I had some cramping/tenderness for a while. It wasn't enough to bother my normal activity so I wasn't concerned, but I could feel my uterus. A week ago I had some tenderness, constipation, maybe some mood swings and maybe a craving? We went to a fish shop one day and the next day I wanted the same food again. I was disappointed that we were having chicken instead, but it also didn't seem like a craving for the food, just a wish. That is also when I noted the spotting on the TP. 

On the second week, I did feel a little nauseated one day but it was pretty mild. I would get it a few hours after I had eaten. I remembered that one of my friend's said her doctor told her to eat before she got nauseated. So when I felt nauseated I would eat lunch or dinner and it went away for a while. I also noticed that my nipples were hard during this time. I don't really remember my nipples getting hard or sensitive for no reason. They didn't hurt tho so maybe I just never notice. It was because of these two symptoms that I took the first pregnancy test on Saturday. 

Today I called in my negative pregnancy test, because of Covid-19 the test was at home. It was nice that I didn't need to go in and pay for blood work. Since the test was negative, I'm going to believe that the symptoms were because I was paying more attention to my body, and/or I was using progesterone cream. Perhaps it was a chemical pregnancy, I know I had that "feels different" feeling, but I think for next time I will assume they are side effect not symptoms because I don't want to get my hopes up.

Generally, after the third IUI women will increase the medication to increase the chance of pregnancy. There are more side effects, and an increase chance of twins, but there is a 25% chance of pregnancy in the first round instead of a 12.5% chance. I know the last cycle I did it more naturally, but I did have the trigger shot and the progesterone cream. I think that counts as two IUI cycles. The added cost of the hFSH injections is most definitely less than having to do two or more regular IUI cycles. So I think it would save me money and time to jump to the next step. 

Additionally, the treatment center I go to often have trials for IVF, last year I was considering one, but I needed to have two IUI cycles first, I know other trials require more cycles. However, right now there aren't any trials for IVF probably because of COVID-19. So if the IVF was an option than the simple and cheaper IUI would probably be better, because if I qualified for IVF then the likelihood of getting pregnant is high and the cost is super low. Since I don't have that fall back plan, I think I should try the option that has the best results and that I can reasonably afford. I probably would consider getting a personal loan to do an IVF if it came down to it, but I don't really want to take a loan out if I don't have to.

Single Mom by Choice Journey. IUI No 2

I had my second IUI today! I am super excited and hopeful. I had to get that out first, but let me pick up from where I left off before.

On July 27th I started using an ovulation kit and the premom app. I have never used the kit or the app before so I know that some things will be guess for the app until it knows me better. The 27th my lh was low and the line was pretty light. Then on the next two days I had high lh, but on the 30th it went down again. So the app said I peaked, but I wasn't too concerned because I had my first ultrasound on the 28th. I found out later that some women will have an elevated level like that early, but it's usually only the last peak that signals ovulation.

During my ultrasound lining was only 5 mm. I had two follicles on the right that were 9 mm and one on the left that was 8.5 mm. So it was way too early. We talks about whether or not I should come in on Saturday or Monday, but I thought Monday would be ok based on Flo app and also my IUI last year was similar.

On July 30, I also has a phone consultation with Dr. Craig. It was pretty similar other initial appointments except on the phone. In his office he would have a paper with carbon copies beneath it. On paper it has a few graphs and a diagram of uterus. It also has sections for Diagnosis/Rx, Test and Plan. 

So basically he just went over the diagnosis portion which was the same as last time.

1. I have regular cycles. There is an age factor that depends on the FSH and AMH. My numbers were good for both so I have enough eggs.

2. LH/FSH imbalance remember that the ratio should be 2:1, but mine was reverse 1:2. What that meant is that even though I have eggs, but maybe I'm not ovulating them. But it is super easy to treat and only needs to be treated when you are trying to conceive (TTC)

3. No weight issues. 

4. My tubes were not blocked last year when they did the HSG X-Ray. Also the test can help clear out the tubes a bit too which makes it easier to conceive for up to a year, but it's been longer than a year.

5. No Endometriosis.

6-8 is for male factor but since I'm using donor sperm then that isn't a probelm.

So we made the plan that if I wasn't pregnant after this cycle that I wanted to continue the plan from last year. This includes: do another HSG x-ray to check my tubes/clear them a bit. do femara to help with the lh/fsh imbalance, ultrasound, trigger shot and progesterone cream. The only difference really is the x-ray and the femara.

After that I would have done 3 IUIs, at 3 IUIs about 1/3 of woman my age will be pregnant. Since this is an unmediated try it might be less. But I think after the 3rd try I would add an FSH inject. This can help increase chances but there is also increase chance for twins.

By August 3rd my ovulation kid started going up again and peaked again. Also on 3rd I had my second ultra sound. I had 9 mm lining good, and a 17.5 follicle on the right. So we were in business. Also, I read an abstract that said that more conceptions happen after woman ovulated on their right. Obviously they aren't checking woman who can get pregnant the typical way, so it might have something to do with infertility, but I will take it as a good sign anyway.

The plan was to take the trigger shot on the 4th at 9:30 then 36 hours later have the insemination. Last time I had longer so the trigger shot was delivered to my house, this time I drove to 30 minutes away to pick it up. I picked it up on Monday. 

I have been spending one day working at my parents house now that I am working from home. So after my ultrasound I went over to their house and saw my parents, sister and played with my niece. I had to leave at 3pm to get the shot and my sister called me later and said it was suspicious.

They still know that I want to become a mom, but I told my sister and my dad that I was going to wait until closer to November. I guess I was initially trying to get to November, but I just couldn't wait any long. The time was right. I kept reading single mom by choice stories and they all said their biggest regret was waiting! I guess there might be a bias because women who really regret it would probably not be posting it on the internet, but I even read Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood. The author founded the Single Mother by Choice national group. She became a single mom in the 80s and there is a lot statistics and information on the single-parent family. It is also a good resource if you need help talking to people or your child about donor conception. So, in the end I couldn't wait any longer. 

So I picked up the trigger shot, the pharmacist brought the shot to my car because of covid. Then went home and put it in the fridge. I was also getting progesterone which can help the fertilized egg stick. But it isn't needed until tomorrow, so that one was delivered today.

It was really hard to wait until 9:30 on Tuesday to do the shot. Especially because I thought every little cramp I felt was me ovulating. I even call the nurse's triage. I guess the follicles need to be bigger to release the egg, and it probably didn't happen in the few hours since I left the treatment center. So I did as I was told and waited until Tuesday.

Now I was trying to be sneaky because I didn't want my roommate to see, around 9:15 she came out to get a drink, but luckily she didn't stick around too long. So I took the shot. It didn't bother me at all, it seems less painful if you do it yourself, maybe because I know it's coming. Plus it's in your stomach, so it doesn't hurt as much as my arm. 

I felt more cramming on Tuesday last night, but I think I was just being sensitive to it. It was also pretty high more near my waist so it probably was gas. 

During the IUI today, I texted when I arrived and they text when you can come in. I have to wear a mask, but that doesn't bother me at all. There is a young lady that takes your temperature and asks if you have been exposed to covid-19. I haven't. 

Last week, I decided to pick a new sperm donor and I ordered two more vials. His Keirsay report says he is the Guardian Inspector type. So I will call him Guardian. It arrived on Wednesday, but I had forgotten to call the office to let them know, which wasn't a problem. But now I had two donors and which would they unfreeze. 

He is similar to the Champion because he has blue eyes and is taller than my dad. But he also has red brown hair. I didn't filter for hair color, but I was actually looking for someone with red hair or at least parents/grandparents with red hair. I know I carry a red-hair gene because my mom has red hair, and my brother does as well. So if the donor had red hair or at least the chance of having the gene then it would be fun to get a child who has red hair or at least a better chance at passing on the gene. 

So I said, if thawing one is harder than the other then just do the easiest one, but if not then go with the new vial, the Guardian. I'm not really a person who thinks that things happen for a reason, but I guess I wanted to leave it up to chance a little bit. 

It's kind of nice because instead of waiting in the waiting room they take you right back to where you need to go. I was in room 2. It was the same room as before! At least the photo of the ocean was the same. Dr. Craig came to do the IUI this time. He varied my name on the paper and the vial, and I saw the Guardian's number on the vial too. There were 16.6 million sperm 10 million is necessary.

So he put the speculum and I don't know why but getting a speculum at the treatment center has always been so much easier than at OB-GYN appointments. It still is uncomfortable a bit, but it's not painful. They also always say they are putting it in, clinking it, and etc. So I think know helps. Also I think they use a plastic one and I think that might make it less painful too.

Last time I remember feeling the catheter go in and I think I even felt the initial sperm leaving the needle, but I didn't feel anything that time. He said he put 80% inside and 20% outside because some studies show that cervical mucus helps and some says it doesn't. So then we would have some in both environments. I have heard that it depends on the type of mucus, if it's sticky which is usually before ovulation then it will hinder, but if it's like egg whites in color and in stretchy then it is good. I have been checking mine and it's between watery and egg white/stretchy. So not bad, but I do remember have more egg white/stretchy when I was younger.

After the procedure they have you wait for 10 minutes. I read it can help to lay down for up to 15 minutes after, but it is not conclusive. After the nurse came in to let me know I could go, I put in a menstrual disc/cup. I see a lot of women are doing this to help get pregnant. I don't think a lot of studies have been done on it yet, and I know many of the sperm would get to the egg anyway, however, I don't think it could hurt to put one in for a few hours which I did until 1:30ish. 

I also have tried to work with my feet on the couch and the laptop on my legs for most of the day. It's probably isn't necessary, but it doesn't hurt. 

So tomorrow I start the progesterone and in two weeks I will do a pregnancy test at home. Then I call the clinic with the results, which is different than last time, but kind of nice to keep social distancing and also I don't have to spend money on a blood test unless I get a positive test at home. 

I have tomorrow and next week off, so it's going to be difficult to wait, but because I took the trigger shot I need to at least wait until day 8 to take a pregnancy test since the shot can create a false positive. Also the progesterone and the shot can give me pregnancy symptoms. So a symptom might just be from that. Additionally, early symptoms could be a sign of a pregnancy, but if there is an abnormality the pregnancy could end without any difference to my cycle, except maybe a heavier flow.

I'll try to fill you in a little bit.

Next week we are going to San Diego for a few days, but probably just staying at my sister and bil's house not doing anything too exciting. I might do one or two trip logs for that to distract me.