Pregnancy Week 25-29

On Wednesday 17th I had an appointment with the dermatologist. I had noticed some red spots in the last few months and I was due for a check anyway. It turned out well. The red spots were just little blood spots. The doctor said they may fade after birth. If they do not I can have them removed. 

Then on Friday I had an appointment at my normal OB-GYN. They only checked the heartbeat with the doppler, checked blood pressure and etc. I brought up being induced after the discussion with the MFM. The PA I met with said that the MFM had agreed with their recommendation even though the MFM had told me that they thought the recommendation was good but that they would work with me if that wasn't what I wanted. I think the notes likely said that we discussed it but I think the PA exaggerated that the notes.

I also tried to discuss what would happen during the induction. The PA said that it was too soon to discuss. That made me so angry. After all my sister's doctor had explained what he would do and he isn't my doctor. So how could it be too soon to discuss. I left pretty frustrated with them but scheduled for the 28 growth scan and gestational diabetes 1 hour test.

The next day I had a prenatal massage. My mom had a gift card that she needed to use and with covid numbers being down we felt comfortable going. It felt so 

Since late January early February I have had some pain in my pelvic bone. At first I thought it was a yeast infection. I generally do not have any symptoms with those but I thought it could be different when pregnant. But the pain did not go away from the treatment.

I didn't have any pelvis pain and when I did it was usually in the morning. It also hurt when I would move from one side to the other when sleeping. I wasn't too concerned at first since it wasn't too bad and not frequent. Then I was watching a vlog and someone said they had lightening crotch. So I thought that was what it was. Since it was in the area and even though I tried the description of the lightening crotch are pretty vague and variety. So for a while I thought I was having that. 

Around the first week of March week 27 I heard about symphysis pubis diastasis (SPD). It sounded like me so I looked it up and it is the separation of the joint without a fraction. During pregnancy your body creates more of the hormone that helps the pelvis relax and become stretchy but sometimes it becomes too relaxed and stretchy. If the bones pull apart too much or misalign to much then it can cause pain. It is normal to widen 2-3mm during last trimester but more than that can be uncomfortable. In rare cases if the gap is 10mm it can cause diastasis symphysis pubis which I think is similar to when abs diastasis during pregnancy.

My symptoms fit much more with SPD and if I do exercises and stretches for SPD it helps relieve the pain. However if I have a bad night turning over in bed several times then it seems like all my hard work gets wasted. I wake up much worse than the night before. But usually by the afternoon it will be more manageable and some days are much better than others. I would say the highest my pain has been is 4. If it stays like this it does seem tolerable since I have stretches now, so hopefully it doesn't get worse. Hypermobility runs in my family so I think it might be that we are more prone to being flexible and stretchy so that may have made it more inevitable. I read that 1 in 300 women experience spd but it might be closer to 25 percent of women. I know that I have yet to bring up to my doctor as it doesn't really seem like there is a lot they can do, I may see a physical therapist to help. They may be able to do adjustments or help with more exercises.

On the last weekend in February I got together with my sister and mom to plan the baby shower. I had been playing it by ear but with Covid numbers down and vaccines up I feel comfortable having a baby shower in April. At this point my sister and I have the biggest risks and since we are both ok with the risk I felt like it was ok to plan. I decided on a little cutie theme a while ago. I think probably it is a gender neutral theme however it is also a spring theme. So I wanted the bright spring colors. I am a naughty guest of honor though because I bought some of the decorations, party favors and invitations. It is fun for me to do that stuff and not so much my sister or mom. So I was trying to make it easier on them but also I like doing the planning so I didn't want to get left out.

On March 2, I had a follow up with the MFM it was week 27. It was only an ultrasound. The baby was laying transverse, (horizontal). The tech said oh she is laying so nicely and we need to do all these pictures for our annual evaluation can we try to get them with your baby. Of course I said sure because I love more pictures. So in addition to looking at the heart and a picture of the face she was able to get every other part, crown/head size, legs, arms, hands, feet, face, kidneys, cord etc. I don't think we would have looked at all of that otherwise. So I ended up with a few dozen pictures and videos. The tech also said the fluid was down even more than the first visit. When I looked at the scans later she was measuring at least 1 week ahead of her due date which was the 87th percentile.

I think it was after this visit that I decided to change obgyns. I was trying to decide between using the MFM or going with my sister's doctor. I liked the MFM but he wouldn't be my doctor now. I at least know a little bit more about my sister's doctor than the ob's at the MFM's office so I decided to switch to my sister's doctor. Since I wanted to see her doctor and he is a pretty senior doctor I had to book the appointment for the 19th. I didn't want to have a lapse in care so I didn't cancel my appointment for the growth scan or glucose test, with the glucose test I think it is supposed to be done by week 28. So cancelling might make it harder to test later.

The next day I had a meet and greet with a pediatrician that is part of the Phoenix Children's Hospital group. She was very nice and I liked her a lot. When I was leaving however I remembered that my pediatrician as a kid was pretty young and I thought maybe he was still working. So I looked him up and he is still working at the same place. So I scheduled a meet and greet with him as well. I loved him as a kid and I think using the same doctor will be fun. The office is a little farther away but I think it will be worth it especially after the first year is over with. If he is different than how I remember than I will probably use the doctor I visited on the 3rd.

Ten days after the follow up with the MFM I had the growth scan and my glucose test. The drink for glucose tasted like little hug fruit barrels from what I remember as a kid. So it wasn't terrible but it was a lot of sugar. It did make me a little nauseous until I ate something after the visit. The scan was not as fun as the MFM scan. The tech is definitely not as good. Plus the baby had her hands and feet in front of her face so the tech could not get the baby's face. She was also moving around a lot and the tech kept making me roll over to different sides. It hurt my pelvis to do that but I didn't say anything.

I had thought that the baby had moved so she was not transverse on that Tuesday because when she is transverse it feels like my stomach is pulled more but it felt less taunt on Tuesday and the night before there was a so many flutters and squirms. I was correct that she was not transverse but at the scan she was now completely breech. It stressed out my mom a little bit because I was breech, but she still has 36 weeks until she can no longer turn on her own, and it isn't until 32 weeks that there is a real concern. 

When I met with the PA after it was the one PA that I liked at the office. So I was happy about that but even with her I felt like I was being rushed through, brushed off and I felt like she hadn't reviewed my file prior to meeting with me. She said that their measurements for the fluid was still higher than what is normal but not by much and since the MFM has the better equipment/tech she was believed the MFM results more. She also said the baby was not measuring 34 percentile. I don't know how a baby goes down 50% in ten days but she that it was likely between the two but closer to the MFM numbers since they had better technology. I guess as long as the baby is not large or small for gestational age they aren't too concerned with the difference even if it's that big. 

They also sent me home with a kit to collect my urine over 24 hours. I think because at the MFM I filled out the form saying my dad had a heart attack and I'm over 35 the MFM felt that taking baby aspirin was a good preventative step against preeclampsia. However because of this MomDoc thinks that I need a baseline for protein levels to watch out of preeclampsia. My blood pressure has been really good thus far and none of my urine samples previously have tested high for the protein. So I don't know if it was really necessary to test for that but since I knew I was switching obs I didn't question it too much. I let them schedule me for two weeks later but I plan to cancel as soon as I am fully transferred to New Horizons.

On Saturday we decided to visit my Grandma in Tucson. She has been isolated for almost a year. She only goes to chemo, doctors, and most of her visits consist of my Uncle delivering groceries. She turned 90 in December and we didn't get to celebrate with her. When she turn 85 she had done 10 pushups on her knees when my Uncle and cousins all did an bunch of them. The last 5 years she caught up more with her age. She is still living on her own but she agrees that she is ready to move to an assisted living of some kind. She has a hard time keeping up with the chores at the house, she also will be able to socialize with other residence and do activities, and it can help with medical care. So that might be what happens in the next year or so with her. I think everyone is a little reluctant since people in assist living have been even more isolated in the last year. So no one is in a rush to move her. Now that she has a hearing aid she does much better keeping up with conversations so her mind isn't declining more than normal. 

Visiting with her was very nice. We all chatted and were happy to see her. My aunt and Uncle came over as well. Naomi was very friendly with them but she also wanted to explore the house. We were only there for the afternoon but it was a lot of fun being with everyone again. Dad, Uncle and Grandma are fully vaccinated and my Mom and Aunt both have one dose so they will be fully vaccinated soon. So it was also nice that we didn't need to distance too much. Oh and the night before the mountain got snow on it so it looked really pretty from my Grandma's back porch.

I had to reschedule my meet and greet with my old pediatrician because of a conflict at work so I didn't get to visit Dr. Aaron on Wednesday. On Friday I had my appointment with my new doctor. I went into the appointment and every one was super nice. Since I was transferring the staff went over the cost of the birth and appointment. It was pretty much the same amount as at MomDoc so not surprising. She asked me why I switched practices so I just said that I felt unsatisfied with care and ignored. I didn't want to be too harsh, but I didn't change on a whim either.

I was then called back and the PA checked the heart 140 bpm. She didn't even have to move the doppler and she found it right away. Then she checked blood pressure before leaving. She also asked why I changed doctors. I waited a little longer for the doctor but he came in. He asked why I had switched too. I told him and I also said that he was my sister's doctor. I knew she liked him and I felt comfortable switching at almost 30 weeks because of that. So he asked about my sister and I think that helped him remember the conversation he had with her in January about me. He also remembered my mom from over a year ago! He already had already looked over all my records (I had requested the transfer after the glucose/growth appointment) the night before so he was familiar with my file. He saw the scans with the fluid on the heart from my doctor and the MFM as well. He said that he felt that everything looked good there but he wanted to schedule an ultrasound, the next for his own look. He can do high risk pregnancies but the fluid might be too high. 

Then he said that since I was "advanced maternal age" that starting at 32 weeks (about 2 and a half weeks from then) that I would go in twice a week. Once for a non-stress test (NST) where they put sensors on belly and monitor for 20-30 minutes and once for an ultrasound also 20-30 minutes. At the ultrasound they are looking at the fluid in the sac and placenta. The two tests can help tell them if I might be going into labor or if I need to be induced or have a c-section. The appointments are either Monday and Thursday or Tuesday and Friday so there is only ever 4 days between appointments. I liked that he explained what would happen and why it would happen. It's not exciting to go in twice a week but now that I understand that makes it better. Hopefully with all this monitoring I can maybe push to delaying an automatic induction at 39 weeks if everything is still looking good then. However, I think since I feel more comfortable with this doctor already and they explain things to me in a reasonable way I will be more willing to accept being induced early. I feel like they are interested in making sure that we are both receiving the best care and that will help me trust being induced more.

After that he did a pelvic exam and measured my stomach. My cervix was still high and closed so that is good. The cervix moves closer as delivery approaches and obviously opens as well.

The lady checking me out scheduled my scan for this Friday. I also needed to sign another medical release since the glucose test results had not been transferred over. She said that she would work on getting me all scheduled out for my bi-weekly appointments. She asked if I preferred Monday/Thursday or Tuesday/Friday more. I have meeting some Thursdays so I said Tuesday/Friday. She asked about time preference, if I could be scheduled at gilbert location and if I needed to see Dr. Swarup every time. I said I preferred mornings, that I would go to Gilbert if I have to but it is pretty far from me, and I like the doctor I saw but seeing a different doctor sometimes was ok. At the hospital I don't really have a choice on which doctor will be there and the doctor I saw only works at the hospital every other Tuesday. So meeting the other doctors is ok with me.

 On the 21, my mom, sister and I got together to get some things done for the shower. We finished ordering decorations, ordered the cakes (one cake and a few cupcakes for gluten free friends), planned the games and made a decision on the food which will be ordered this week. It was fun but walking around the stores so much made my pelvis hurt a lot more last night and today.  

Pregnancy Week 24

It has been a crazy month since I last updated about my pregnancy. On the 22nd of January, I had the second anatomy scan to get a look at the parts that the tech couldn't get with the baby laying on her tummy. I was also meeting with main delivery dr for the hospital that I like. I invited my sister to come with me this time as I am allowed 1 guest and any child under 8 so my niece came as well.

Week 21 Day 4

We went into the ultrasound pretty quickly after getting there. The baby had been moving a lot the night before and was laying on her back this time. So the ultrasound tech could get the face, hands, feet, chest and heart. They also do 3-d scans of the face. The baby loves to have her hands by her face and suck on her thumbs, but luckily she was moving around enough to get a good shot of her close up.

After the ultrasound, we waited in the exam room for the OB and that took forever, maybe 45 minutes or an hour. We even thought they might have forgot about us. The appointments with the dr after the ultrasound are scheduled as a separate task so there was a little time between the ultrasound and the dr appointment, but also the dr was a little late. I was ok but Naomi was grumpy about being in the exam room for so long. 

My sister really didn't like my ob. She thinks that she was rude. I think she was a little short, but my sister kept interrupting her explanations to ask questions. So I think they were both being a little rude. My opinion is that the labor and delivery nurses do a lot of the work and I will interact with them the most so I just like a Dr that can handle anything crazy before or after delivery. 

There were a few concerning issues with the second exam. The first, was that the cord was inserted into the placenta at 1.9 cm and it should be at least 2 cm. Since 1.9 is so close it is not a big deal but something to monitor because the baby might not get as much nutrients.   

The second thing, was an EIF (echogenic intracardiac focus) which is a calcium deposit on the heard and shows up as a bright spot. It is a soft marker of down syndrome because EIFs show up more in babies with down syndrome, but EIFs are also seen in typical babies. Since, I already did the genetic screening for down syndrome then there is no concern about down syndrome. I could do a more invasive and risky test to be 100% sure instead of 99% sure, but I don't think the risk is enough for 1% difference. 

The final thing, which is the most concerning was that there was fluid on the heart. The doctor was concerned about this but she wouldn't speculate about what that would mean without sending me to a maternal fetal medicine doctor for a closer look. She said that she just wanted to "cross the t's and dot the i's" so I shouldn't lose sleep over it. Ha! Having less information proved is not very good for me in the coming weeks.

Other than those, I learned that because of my advanced age that the OB office I go to induces at 39 weeks even if everything looks good. I was not sure how I felt about that. I really wanted to at least get to 40 weeks May 31st even if I have to get induced at that time. I left feeling concerned about the baby's health but also contemplating switching obs if other options were available. Since my sister had a follow up the next week I asked her to talk to her doctor about what they do.

At home, I was at first ok with being patient and waiting for more information, but I decided I wanted some more information. So I requested my records from the anatomy scan appointment. On Monday I called my OB office and asked about the referral. They said that the referral wasn't marked 'stat' so they had a week to do the referral, but they would note that I called to see if they could get it done early. Hearing again that it wasn't urgent was a relief but I am glad I called because they texted me that night with the referral information. 

First thing on Tuesday, I called the perinatal office to make the appointment. They hadn't even opened the email yet about the referral, but they let me schedule. I was able to schedule for the following Tuesday. I think if I had waiting for the normal turn around time it could be another week before the appointment. It was nice to know that it wasn't a rush but regardless I was still thinking about it all the time.

Alongside of making the appointment, I was looking up fluid on the heart online. This resulted in two main outcomes. The first is Fetal pleural effusion. A fetal pleural effusion is when there is fluid around the heart greater than 2 mm. It can be concerning because it can take up room where the lungs need to develop and pushes them aside. However, from a few studies even at 7 mm of fluid the outcomes look good. They might need to insert a needle in to the uterus and drain the fluid from the heart if it was really keeping the lungs from developing or they might drain the fluid after birth. However, for many cases they don't do a lot of intervention. So this seemed like ok news and it also sounded most like what was going on with me.

The second result is about hydrops. It is much more concerning with worse outcomes. However, for hydrops to occur two or more areas in the baby need to have fluid, like the heart, kidneys, abdomen or near the lungs. It can happen for several reasons one is caused by an immune response if the mother lacks an RH factor. I have an RH factor so hydrops wouldn't be caused by an immune response. There are also non-immune factors the most common cause is parvovirus. My ob did ask if I had a cat and I said no and that I do have dogs but I used a claw to pick up the poop so I don't have direct contact. Actually I didn't even pick up the poop during the first trimester just in case! I had a lot to pick up in December however. It can be caused by other viruses as well as down syndrome, turner's syndrome and other chromosome abnormalities. So, because I already did the genetic screenings, I didn't have a cat, and the fluid was only in one spot I didn't think hydrops was likely but it was still a possibility. 

I also looked up inducing at 39 weeks for older mothers. I didn't find a ton of numbers for women over 35, but one UK study said that for 35-39 mothers who get induced at 39 weeks it prevents 17 stillbirths a year. There are more births in the US so I estimate maybe it would be about 100 stillbirths in the US. So there is a benefit but it is pretty low for an individual. 

On Friday the 29th, my sister had her follow up. She had a great appointment. The placenta had healed and the clot was gone. Hooray! Also, the baby was bigger again so her due date was changed again to August 27th. Which matches my sister's dates so it probably won't change again. She also asked about what their policy was for induction at 39 weeks. Her Ob says that week 39 births are less risky, but what they do is they have you go in during the 39th week. They do a ripening and that may put you into labor but it may not. She said if it doesn't happen that they wouldn't move on to full on induction.

I looked up ripening on Mayo clinic, it is considered a type of induction, but it is not like they are breaking the water or giving medication to induce. So I am tempted to change OBs.

That week, I also learned that my Aunt had colon cancer. She went into get a routine check and they found the cancer. Colon cancer can be very deadly but that is because by the time symptoms show up it is already 4th stage. So everyone is hopeful that because she didn't have symptoms yet that it was an earlier stage and easier to overcome. She was lucky to get in for a surgery on Wednesday the third. They would remove the cancer and some of the nodes.

So the first week of February, was just as eventful as the last week in January.  On Monday the appointment records arrived. I was able to see that the fluid was measured at 3.4 mm. That made me feel that the fluid was an effusion and not hydrops. Also, between 2 mm and 4 mm is considered a low amount of fluid (above normal). The results of low fluid gave me a lot of relief that no intervention would be needed. 

On Tuesday, I was able to bring one guest to the MFM. It was pretty far from my house but because of the freeways I was able to get there in 45 minutes. I met with my mom so that we could go the rest of the way together. She offered to drive which was nice because I was nervous. The MFM office was very nice and clean. I had filled out a lot of the forms online but there was an additional questionnaire that needed to be filled out. I also had to give a urine sample. 

Week 23 day 1

We went back to the ultrasound first. It was like another anatomy scan! The tech looked at everything again. Of course she took a lot of pictures of the heart and because of all the research I saw the fluid this time and saw when she measured. I also got more 3-d pictures of the face which is so clear. At the end of the ultrasound the tech told us that less than 3 mm was considered normal and that the fluid was measuring less than 3! So she was not concerned about the fluid!

I was so relieved to hear that news. It was great to know that the fluid levels were normal and everything was looking good. The tech led us to an exam room to meet with the MFM. While we were waiting a staff member came in to let us know that the appointment was booked for 10 so it might be a little bit of a wait, but as soon as the dr was done with the current patient he would be in. It was so nice that they came into the room to let us know that there would be a bit of a wait, even though it was only about 15 minutes. 

It was nice to decompress a bit and my mom and I discussed what questions we had. I wanted to ask about inducing and 39 weeks and my mom wanted to know about covid vaccine especially for my sister who cannot work from home. She also thought maybe I could switch my OB to that office even if I don't need to see the MFM in the office I could see an OB at the office.

The doctor came in. He went over all the results including the placenta cord (which I hadn't even told my mom about before that opps). He was not concerned because the baby was weight 1.8 lbs and that is considered in the top 91%! So the baby is getting all she needs otherwise she wouldn't be so big. He talked about the EIF but because I have the genetic screening and no other soft markers he is not concerned. Then he said the fluid looked good. There should be some fluid around the heart because it lubricates the heart as it pumps and the level of fluid is within normal.

Cushions for Window Seat, Nursery

Then, we asked out questions. He said that a baby doesn't get any more benefit being in the womb at 39 weeks vs 40 weeks and that there is a reduced risk of stillbirth, preeclampsia, and reduced c-sections. However, he said that it was my decision if everything looked good and I wanted to wait then they would wait. 

So we asked about switching obs. I don't think he wanted to steal business from my doctor, but of course I could do that. Also I could do a hybrid approach. Their office doesn't not have admitting privilege at the hospital I was thinking of, but the hospitals they admit too are great ones too. I like the first hospital because my brother and niece were born there. So I know that it is nice and it does have an NICU. However the one he admits to is one that my friend went to. I know it is nice too and the NICU is even better. I am still not sure if I will switch or not but I did like the MFM better than the OB at my office. I have a follow up appointment with them in a month. So I have time to decide.

As far as covid vaccine, he said that if it was him, he would get it when it was available to him because the risk of hospitalization, incubation and death are high for people with covid if they are also pregnant. I don't know when it will be offered to me and since I work from home right now I think I can make it to my due date before getting the vaccine. I do want to get it after I give birth even though I plan to breastfeed.

On Wednesday, my Aunt had her surgery. They removed the cancer and also a few nodes. The dr thought they looked like the cancer had spread to a few of them, but they will biopsy them. If it did spread that is considered stage 3 but it doesn't look like stage 4. Stage 3 survival rates look much better than stage 4. She is already scheduled to do chemo. 

After all the good news from earlier in the week. I woke up on Saturday and was relaxing with my coffee. I looked over at my 14 year old dog, Reggie's and I saw that the white parts of his eyes were yellow. I checked his ears and they were yellow too. I knew that was not good news. 

In the last few weeks, he had been declining. It was hard to get him to eat even if it was just liquid broth. He was wheezing a lot at night. He also had lost a lot of weight, but he started out overweight so he wasn't underweight for his breed. He still wanted to eat treats, or if I had yummy chicken he wanted to eat it. He was also still active. He would get up to the couch and bed. he would still bark at me if he wanted something or at the door if he heard amazon. So while he was declining he was still happy and not in pain. 

I called his vet but they were almost closed for the day and they couldn't take him until Thursday. So I thought maybe I could wait until Monday to bring him to Jojo's vet. Reggie's vet is near my parents house because he lived with them for most his life and Jojo's is near me but they allow walk ins. So I spent the afternoon painting the remaining walls of the nursery white. I probably could have spot painted but it was pretty quick with the roller and I had did the trim the Saturday before. Reggie stayed in the room with me or right by the door because he didn't like the tarp. He was annoyed that he couldn't be on the couch but he still was being active.

In evening I was concerned about waiting all the way until Monday to get him to the vet. Sunday was superbowl and I wouldn't be with him all day. So if something happened I wouldn't be able to take him to the vet. So I asked my sister where they brought their dog when she had a heartattack. She sent me back the vet and I called to ask if I could wait until Monday. They said I should bring him in.

I just knew then that it was not going to end well. So I put Jojo in my room in order to get Reggie in the car by himself. He was excited to get in the car. He was even more excited when I put the leash on him. He was very happy in the backseat, looking out the window and going for a ride. The vet was about 30 minutes from my house. I kept looking back at him and looking at him with the mirror. When I got to the doctors we waited in the car as I called from the parking lot. 

The tech came out to get him and have me sign some forms. He barked at her a little bit, but was nervous when she opened the door to get him out. I told him it was ok and watched him go. I wish I had hugged him once more and snuggled him when we waited. 

After about 20 minutes the vet called and said that Reggie was yellow and he wanted to blood work to

Reggie

look at his liver enzymes. That would take a few hours so I was able to go back home. I really didn't want to go home but I needed to because my phone battery was low. I was finishing dinner when the vet called again. He said that his one enzyme that normally would be under 400 was at 7,000. He thought he had an obstruction in his gallbladder but he would need an ultrasound. He was so surprised that his levels were that high especially because Reggie was so active even barking at people. He couldn't believe he was so active. Usually if he was that active he would sent him home until the ultrasound the next day but with the levels so high he thought the gallbladder might erupt at any time.

Anyway after a difficult conversation, I called my parents to let them know what was going on. I had texted them a few times that day but they had not responded. I knew it was bad and I needed to get a hold of them. They didn't answer but I left a tear ridden message and they called back. I explained what was going on. My mom said that she could be the one to get the information and make the decision. So after we hung up she called the vet and he explained everything to her.

My dad called after the conversation and said that after a long conversation the vet had said that it was either liver cancer which at his age would not be treatable or gallbladder obstruction (which was the most likely) he could have gallbladder surgery but it is a hard recovery for any dog especially one so old. He said if it was his dog he would put his dog down. He said there was also a risk of eruption of the gallbladder and that would be a very painful death. So we had to decide if we should put him down that night or in the morning. We, including my sister and brother, decided that it was better to do it that night. Reggie would be scared and uncomfortable all night being at a vet office. We just didn't think it was right to make him go through that. Luckily we were able to go see him one last time.

It was bittersweet though because they had to sedate him prior to the visit. He was awake but he was very out of it. Also we could only go in two at a time. So my sister and mom went in first, then my dad and I went it. It was decided that we would be in the room when they put him down. I went into the room by myself. Reggie was laying on the table in a blanket. He was really out of it. I put my hand by his nose and when my dad came in the room I saw him look over and his eyes did light up but it was just a barely. It was so hard to see him like that. It would have been nice if he was active like he had been that evening, especially for my family who hadn't seen him that day. 

I just wanted to pet Reggie for as long as I could, but I knew it was more for me than for him. I told him I was sorry and hugged and kissed him. After sometime my dad said he was ready when I was. I said I was ready. I wasn't ready, but I knew I wouldn't be ready. So I said ok. He got the vet who administered the drugs. It was very fast after that. I did see when the light left his eyes. It was a little after his breath stopped. While the drugs were being administered the baby was kicking me a lot! Maybe she knew I was upset and she was saying goodbye too. The vet checked his heart and said he passed. We were able to stay after that. We said some final goodbyes. He was still soft and warm, but it wasn't Reggie anymore.

After we went back to the car with my sister and mom. We spent some time in the car talking about Reggie. He had been in our lives for 14 years. We all had great stories about him like he brought a dead bird into my sister bed, he knew all of our names, and he was super smart. He learned to ring a bell to go outside and knew when you told him that you put leftovers in his bowl. He was young when my brother was in HS and he went to all the parties that my brother had in the yard, but when my brother went to college he was getting older. So he would just hang out with Dad and in his middle and late ages. 

It was hard to let him go. I think maybe if I had just waited until Monday I would have got one more day with him, but the results would have been the same. However, his gallbladder might have erupted and I'm glad he wasn't in pain. 

It is different without him in the house. He is more of a cuddler than Jojo is. Also I think Reggie and I had a strong bond. I usually could figure out what he wanted when he barked at me, and he is better at reading my body language. I woke up this morning and the blanket smelled like Reggie. It is an big feeling for sure. I know it was the right decision even though it was a hard one. I will miss and love him for the rest of my life. 

I am relieved about the good news about the baby and my aunt, but I am still feeling bummed about losing Reggie too. 

Week 23 Bump

I have still been having heartburn in the evening and at night. It doesn't happen every day, but a few times a week. It even makes me a little nauseous. I also have my hands are sometimes numb when I'm in bed and I have been trying to stretch my shoulder blades to help. I have had some round ligament pain but not as often or long.

The last thing is that I was touching my stomach on Saturday and I felt that it got hard! I couldn't feel
anything on the inside, but I think it still counts as a Braxton hicks. My sister was the 23 weeks and 5 days when she started getting contractions. Hers were not considered Braxton hicks but they were not labor contractions. Her contractions were more consistent and often also some of them were a little painful. I also felt a hard stomach once today, Monday the 8th! So I think that is a second one.