Initial Doctor Visit, March 8, 2019

Luck of Irish!

I went to my first doctor visit to start my baby journey on Friday, March 8, 2019. I visited the fertility treatment center last spring, the last visit was in June. I decided to wait a year to start my fertility and baby journey.

Last year I had an internal ultrasound to start, followed by a consult regarding my options, which might be depend on my blood work. Once the blood work was in, I had a follow up consult to go over results.

The diagnosis/RX was 1. I had a regular cycle and age. That was good. The follicle count is the best measure of ovarian reserve. A normal result is 6-10, over 12 is high, my count was 24
I had 24 follicle count. So that is good.

My labs showed FSH = 5.9 and AmH = 2.2 which are both good results. My LH however is greater than my FSH which might mean that even though I have eggs they aren't ovulating correctly. It is very easy to fix and the medication will last about 11 months. It was not something to worry about until I was ready to get pregnant.

Dr. Craig estimated that I would probably be able to get pregnant naturally for about 8 more years. I believe by naturally he meant without IVF or IUI. I would still need fix my LH and FSH ratios with medication.

My thyroid levels were also a little low. Dr. Craig said it was minor enough that I didn't need to take medication, but I decided to anyway. It wasn't really a surprise since my siblings and dad have some thyroid issues. I'd rather take care of it now.

So, at this appointment we went over my results from last year. Then we went over my options.

Options:
1. Do nothing. Which is the option I took last year.
2. Do IUI - There is simple IUI and then more complex as go depending on success. For simple typical success rates is 25% of women will be pregnant after 2 cycles, after 6 it is 50% success rate. It also is the least expensive. It can be more complex by adding FSH inject and etc. The success rates of that is 50% at 3 cycles and 70% at 6. Cost is higher because there is more medication and procedures that take place.
3. Do IVF - Cost the most money. The success rates are 70% after 1 cycle and 95% after two.

Most people will do option 2 getting more complex as they go on and then go to IVF after they exhausted other options. The treatment center I go to is also a research center. They have studies and trials regularly which will cover a lot of the cost of the IVF. They will also freeze any embryos that are not used for later. I may qualify for one of the research studies. If I do I will probably accept, but meanwhile I will start the IUI process.

Plan: IUI

Step 1: Choose donor and buy vials. It is recommended that I buy IUI versus IUI-ART or ICI. I need at least 2 vials for IUI and for IVF. Since I'm not sure about the IVF I will just buy two for now.
Step 2: Have health screening for STDs, on menses. A psychological screening schedule for Wednesday March, 13.
Step 3: IUI cycle -
day 1 (about March 27th) of menses call to schedule blood work within 3 days.
days 3-7 (about March 29-April 2) I take femara, use to be clomid.
day 6-10 (about April 1-April 5) hysterosalpingogram x-ray
day 10 (about April 5) ultrasound
day depending on ultrasound tigger injection hCG
36 hours after injection IUI

Plan: IVF

Tuesday, March 12, I will meet with a research tech about the trials. After that I will know more about this plan.

Even though I have done a lot of research, watched a lot of videos, read blogs and books, I am a little whelmed by the process and the work that it takes. Sitting down with the doctor and nurse, I also felt really confident in my decision. So even though it is a little eye widening I am also getting really excited.

Tree has Sperm and Egg!

By the way I picked the champion.

How I Picked a Donor

When I was first reviewing the different sperm banks I did preview the donor which helped me decide. So I already had an idea about the donors, but I tried to keep the search for a bank separate from a search for a donor. That way I was not overwhelmed by choices.

When I began my search for a donor I narrowed down by two things, eye color and height. I have blue eyes and of my siblings they are the most blue. So it is one trait that I would like to pass on if I can. So I filtered out the darker eye colors. Eye color is controlled by several genes, so it's not as simple as the dominant and recessive square that was taught in school, however having a donor with light eyes should help.

As for height, I narrowed down to anyone taller than my dad. My dad is 5'10" so I narrowed to 5'11". Once I filtered for those two things I sorted by height. Then, I began reviewing the profiles.

I found a few donors I liked, but when I showed them to my cousin Megan, she noticed that they had a risk of some diseases. So I put them aside. I wasn't going to rule them out, but if I could find donors without a risk then I thought I should take it.

That's when I found the catalog for the donors. It's a PDF on the website, it shows a baby picture, and gives a grade of health to the donors. The catalog was for 2018, since it was December I decided to hold off until 2019 came out.

So in January I renewed my search filtering by height and eye color again. Except this time, I set the height to 5'10" and up. I didn't realize this at first, but by the time I did I found a donor I liked, and the catalog said he had an A genetic test. The information on his profile said that he wasn't at risk for any genetic diseases. So I added him to my list. (Donor 1)

I had a few more donors I liked, but the catalog and health screenings helped me narrow down to 3 donors. From there I accessed the additional documents for the donors. Some had more baby pictures, a recording of the interview, the written opinion of the interviewer, and a Keirsey test. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter is similar to Myers Briggs except that Myers Briggs simplifies the traits where is Keirsey's is more of a sliding scale.

I am pretty skeptical of both, right now the Big 5 personality test has better credibility. So I didn't let this influence me too much.  However, when I went to my consultation last year my doctor said that I should pick any physical traits that I wanted, but to look for opposite personality traits. He said that this would make for more well rounded, and healthier kids. He gave examples, if you are athletic then pick someone musical otherwise you might have a kid with ALS, or if you are book smart don't look for another smart person because then you might have a kid with autism. I'm also pretty skeptical about this statement, but since the genetic tests and family histories were clear, I did look at the Sorter results. I know I am an INTJ (Architect), and Donor 1 was ENFP (Champion), Donor 2 was INFP (Healer) and Donor 3 was ENFP (Champion). I don't remember my scale exactly, but I think the donors seemed at least someone dissimilar to me. So I was confident that I had my short list.

After listing to the interviews, and looking at the baby photos, I decided that I didn't liked Donor 3 as much as Donor 1 and Donor 2. The baby pictures for Donor 1 and Donor 2 just had my heart thumping, and I didn't love tone of voice for Donor 3. I learned a long time ago that your brain will conclude a lot about a person just by their voice. Maybe this is based on biases of the brain, but I thought I should go with my gut.

What do I like about Donor 1. He has a cute baby picture. He seemed a little unsure in the interview at first, but I think that is to be expected in the situation, and I felt like it was more genuine. Even though he sneaked in under my original height criteria he said his little brother is taller than him. He also seemed more creative than me. Finally, the donors get named by the banks. It's unclear if the names are genuine or not. I have a feeling some are and some are made up. The name of this donor popped out to me. Ever since I was a little kid and throughout my life I always felt like this name would be very important in my life. I have never wanted to use this name as a name for a child or pet and I haven't really known anyone with this name. Yet the feeling is there. I'm not sure where it comes from, maybe it is a bit of synesthesia.

What I like about Donor 2. His baby pictures made my heart flutter. I thought that's my baby. Then, the interview was great. He had a nice voice and clear answers. He seemed very comfortable and relaxed. I also loved his answer on why he wanted to become a donor. It seemed like he really wanted to help give people a family. I just felt very comfortable listening to him. He also seemed more creative than me. Also, he doesn't have corrective lenses or had corrective eye surgery, this is a plus because I had LASIK.

Overall I think had a better impression for Donor 2, but there was nothing I didn't like about Donor 1, plus there is the name factor. Like I said before I will wait until I have to make a decision and then I will go with my gut. I thought about purchasing vials from both donors, but that puts me off. I will just choose one at this point. Will I pick the champion or the healer? I'll let you know when I make the final decision.

This Baby Adventure

February 16, 2019 - Decision

It's been a while. Since the journey, I haven't taken any major trips. The only new place I traveled to was Charlotte, for a wedding. I really enjoyed the trip. However, I didn't journal it like I normally do.

In the last few years, I have started planning for a new adventure. That adventure is to be a mom. I always wanted to be a mom, but I haven't found a significant other.

When I turned thirty, I realized that I might only have another ten years where I could have children of my own. I have been no stranger to dating apps before, but never with the goal that I was looking for someone to settle down with. However, in the last few years, I have chatted with many people, met with some of those people, and dated a few, but everyone ended eventually. I was cautious about settling with someone in order to have children. I knew I needed to find someone that I was compatible with foremost.

On the Fourth of July weekend in 2017, I visited Grandma's Cabin with Aunt Karen, uncle, G'ma and cousins. It was a pretty quiet occasion because there were so few of use. During an evening HOSA  event Aunt Karen asked why I couldn't use IVF.

The thought of using IVF had not occurred to me before. I only knew one person who talked about IVF at a personal level. Her husband's vasectomy reversal had not worked and they discussed using IVF. However, they decided that it was too expensive. Believing the process to be expensive, I told my aunt that it was expensive so that's why I couldn't use it.

However, after that trip I began looking into IVF and other fertility treatments. I came to realize that IVF can be expensive, but if I didn't have fertility issues that it wasn't necessary to use IVF. Instead I could use IUI or ICI. ICI can be performed at home so the cost is greatly reduced.

Having this in mind, I began to plan. I would wait until I was 35 to see if I met someone.

Additionally, I started saving. As you might know, I review all of my financial accounts at least once a year, usually around tax season, just in case I need to re-balance. I spend a lot of time using spreadsheets to predict future value of money and I also plan out my financial goals. I realized one year, maybe 2016 or 2017 that in almost every scenario I would be able to retire by 65 without contributing another penny to retirement. In the other scenarios, I would only need to contribute $50 every month or wait to 67 to retire. In 2018, I realized that if I continued to save the same amount of money that I would reach financial independence and could retire at 55. After a decade of listening to financial gurus and a lifetime of learning finance advice from my father, I realized that all the saving I did in my teens and 20's had given me the ability to choose to be a mom on my own.

So, last year I started to contribute more money towards my Health Savings account and less money to my retirement account. I know that having a baby will be a large medical cost.

Additionally, in 2018 I went to a fertility center for a consult. I wanted to learn how many eggs I had and how long I would be fertile. The doctor was a nice older man, maybe in 50's. He explained all of the procedures and about each hormone that would be tested to determine fertile. After getting the blood work in, I met with the doctor again. He said that I would be fertile for 5-6 years and maybe up to 8 years. My FSH and LH levels were ok, but they inverted. He said that would be an easy fix when I was ready. He also said that waiting a year would be fine.

Now my original plan was to wait until I was 35, however I have had a few friends and family members around my age that have had troubled pregnancies. I also learned that if you are going to give birth after 35 then it is considered a geriatric pregnancy, at best that means you will be monitored more often and you will have more ultrasounds. It still concerns me however. Also, I would like to give myself the option of a second child in the future. So, now the aim is to have had the baby before I am 35. That will be before May of 2020. So I will need to be pregnant by July 2019 or August 2019.

So this year I have been preparing for that.

When I first did the research about IUI and IVF, I learned about the different cryobanks. I liked California Cryobank and Seattle Sperm Bank. The doctor I visited gave me a list of 6 banks that had the best success rates. Both of the ones I liked were on it, and I learned about a few more. I finally decided on Seattle Sperm Bank. I have also narrowed down the donors. There are two that I really like, but I haven't decided between those two. This is a common practice of mine. I narrow down to two options and once it is time to decide then I go with my gut, which is how I decided on Seattle Sperm Bank.

I already missed my ovulation for February, and I know the fertility center will need at least one cycle to get new blood work and results. So, I think the earliest I could start would be April, but if I need to do hormone treatments it might be May. Since May is my birthday month, that seems cute to me. The majority of people (who do not have fertility issue) will get pregnant within three cycles. So, if I start in May my third cycle will be in July, so that will be within my goal time-frame.

I am hoping to share my adventure in this blog for a while. However, I am not attempting to turn this into a mommy blog.

The Journey Day 16: London, England

September 18th, 2016; London, England

On the fifth day, of our visit we took a day trip. We decided on Warrick Castle, Stratford upon Avon, and Oxford. The tour guide was quite good and knowledgeable about the sites and London. She explained a lot about the locations before arriving so there was little need to read the information at the sites. That meant we could enjoy the sites as they stood. 

Warrick Castle

Warrick Castle is quite old, but was updated in the Victorian era and maintained. Inside the castle, it is a cute park for families and kids. It is a little like a renaissance festival. The castle has lance fighting, haunted tunnels and shows. We climbed the walls to walk around those. From the walls there was a great view of the country and the castle!

Then, we went to the peacock garden for a refresher and a small bite. The garden was so pretty! On our way back to the bus we also got some ice cream. 

Shakespeare's birthplace, with a performance!

From the castle, we went to the birthplace and hometown of Shakespeare! It was quite a poppin' town. We toured the birth home, which thanks to Charles Dickens and his contemporaries was preserved. Shakespeare was pretty wealthy for his time with schooling and a nice home. He was wealthy enough that he owned at least two beds! It was much nicer than old homes in the wild west. As an adult, he bought a bigger home still nearby. That house was not on the tour. 

The town, as I said, was busy. It was filled with shops and cafe's. I guess a lot of people visit the birthplace. We walked around and grabbed pastries and some chocolates. 

Oxford!

Once we were on our way, I read and Kelsi tried to nap! We drove through the Cotswolds, but after Ireland and Scotland the land was a bit redundant! We didn't stop in this area driving straight thru to Oxford. We did the walking tour at the school which was very informative. It also happened that a show was being filmed, so we were able to see a bit of the filming. 

It was so cool to see the Oxford reading room which is iconic. The school also boosts some famous students and loads of stories. So there were lots of knickknacks from them, like Alice in Wonderland, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. So I bought souvenirs from the school and some Harry Potter themed items. It was much cheaper than buying merchandise from US universities! 

Hospital Wing

After shopping we stopped at a cafe as we were leaving Kelsi got fudge and I got a milkshake. Then, we were back on the bus towards London.

We spent the end of the night near Trafalgar Square. We ate Italian food, I had rigatoni and Kelsi had pesto. We also had desserts. Then we walked over the Jubliee bridge and down to Blackfriars and back to our room.

The next day, was the day we do not speak of (travelling home day) so that day will not have a blog post.


 

The Journey Day 15: London, England

September 17th, 2016; London, England

The plan for the day was to visit museums: Victoria and Albert, Natural History and Science. We started the day by going to Pret for lattes and pastries. I ate a ham and cheese breakfast sandwich and Kelsi had an almond croissant. 

Then we took the underground to the museums. We went to V&A first, it was big and the layout was frustrating so I gave up trying to see everything. There was plenty to see anyway. The extra exhibit was for fashion week, so there was fashion thru the ages which was very interesting. At every exhibit window I asked Kelsi which of the outfits she liked best out of all of the ones in that exhibit. Most of the exhibits had an obvious favorite, but not all of them. The sculptures and beautiful doors were amazing. I also loved the paintings. We stayed for several hours, but we left before we finished it all.

We decided we needed some refreshers and snacks. We went to Kensington Creperie. I had mint tea and Kelsi had a latte. I hardly ever eat crepes so I am not sure I know what my favorite flavors would be, but I had the apple & cinnamon which was very good. Kelsi really loved hers!

After our refreshers we went the the natural history museum. The dinosaurs were awesome. I really liked the exhibit about Earth's plates and the timeline from the beginning to Earth as we know it today. The human exhibit was also really great. We were there for hours, and when we were done we decided to cut the science museum. I do love science museums, but I'm glad we went to the other two first, I know much more about science and seeing exhibits I know less about was better. 

We had a few recommendations from people on restaurants to visit in London, one was Wagamama's. We knew that there was one near the Eye, which we still had a pass for. So we decided to go there and wait for dusk. We wanted to see the lights turn on from the Eye. We had pad thai and a bottle of rose, for Cait! It was delicious! We still talk about wanting to go to Wagamama's if only there was one nearby. 

When we finished it still wasn't dark enough to go on the Eye so we stopped at a beer stand for a beer. We sat in beach chairs nearby to drink the beers and look out at the river as dusk settled. When it was getting to be evening we went to over to the Eye. We thought the line would take longer than it did. We were still able to see the lights turn on, but another 10 minutes and it would have been better still. The view from the Eye was really awesome.

Once we back on the bank we went to Founder's Arm another place that was recommended to us. It is located right on the river near the Black Friars Bridge. We had beers there, even though it was quite cool out we sat outside because the view of the river was great. I chatted a bit with someone at the table nearby. Mostly about my accent! 

Then, we went down to the Cut and sat upstairs at Young Vic and had a drink there. It was quite a relaxing night. It was fun to get different views of the city. After that Kelsi went across the street for a late night chip run!

The Journey Day 14: London, England

September 16th, 2016 London, England

On the third day I was still a sick in the morning. It was also raining. The plan for the day was to watch the Changing of the Guard. We want to arrive by 10 am to secure a spot so we had to get up early. We went to Nero for breakfast. I had an apircot pastry and Kelsi had a chocolate croissant. We both had lattes. We also bought pastries that we could eat while we waited for the changing of the guard. Kelsi's was the apricot pastry and mine was a muffin. The cashier was a bit surprised when we ordered so much. Kelsi ended up eating both her pastries at Nero's!

We took the underground to Westminster and we managed to get a little turned around on our way to Buckingham. We were so distracted by Westminster Abby, the Parliament house and Big Ben that we weren't paying attention. We didn't take a route that was incorrect, but it wasn't the fastest route. 

By the time we got to Buckingham I had to use the bathroom. So I set Kelsi at the gate and then went to look for a bathroom. I had to go back pretty far, but I eventually went into Royal Cafe. I bought more lattes to bring back to the gate.

When I returned to the gate there was already a crowd forming. I had to worm my way back to where Kelsi was standing. It was raining steadily by that time and kept up as we waited. More and more people arrived. It was a good thing that we arrived early.

Then it happened! A guard on the other side of the gate said there wouldn't be a changing because of the rain! Pooh!

We made a beeline to the tour line for the palace. The tour is mainly to display the royal wardrobe and the gardens, but do see some of the palace as well. The queen's dresses were all on display and they were very cute. There were also beautiful paintings and sculptures. 

After Buckingham the plan was to see the Abby and Parilment houses then we would visit the Eye if we had time. So we went to the Abby. The tour book said that we could get into the Abbey from the west gate without charge, but we had trouble finding it. We went into St. Margret's Church which was nice. At the front entrance we saw a sign stating the time for the Evensong and decided to go back for that.

So we went to the Parliament House across the street. It was a bit of a hassle getting the tickets, but it worked out nicely anyway. The Parliament house was amazing inside as well as outside. I enjoyed learning about the houses of parliament and how it has changed over the years.

By the time we were finished the rain stopped and I suddenly felt much better. It was after I was feeling better that I realized that my head had been pretty fuzzy because of my cold. Once it was gone it was a dramatic difference. 

We went to the Lion Pub for dinner which was around the corner. I had the daily special wthich was steak and leaks pie with chips. Kelsi had a sweet potato pie with chips. We also ordered beers. We tried to eat quickly in order to get back to the Abby. It seem that we are not very good at getting the bill in England. 

We were able to make to Westminster in time, for the evensong. I liked the service at Westminster better than at St. Paul's. The Abby is very beautiful, though I like St. Paul's style better. 

Next, we crossed the jubilee bridge to the London Eye. The bridge is really cute and fits well with the Eye. The line for the Eye was long so we went to the cruise dock and bought tickets for a cruise and the London Eye. We decided to do the cruise that evening and save the London Eye for the next day. We had time so we got yogurt at a stand. We ate it on the dock before our cruise. The cruise goes up and down the Thames and is a great way to see the city. The guide was pretty good, however whenever we went under a bridge the mic cut out. He told us all about the buildings and bridges that we saw.The cruise was made even better because it started getting dark so it was fun to see all the lights turn on. Kelsi decided that Big Ben looked good in green.

After the cruise we walked down the river. We felt peckish and needed refreshers so we stopped in The Warf and ordered bread and oil. As well as a pot of Primm's and lemonade. It wasn't far from there to get to Black Friars Bridge and from there to our room! 

The Journey Day 13: London, England

September 15th, 2016 London, England

After our later night we rested for a bit in the morning. The plan for the day was to take the tube to Tower Hill, see the Tower of London, Tower Bridge and St. Paul's Cathedral. My cold was lingering. It wasn't really effecting my head, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I managed the cold by stuffing my pockets with tissues, I only needed to reload my pockets every few hours and holding my breath so I wouldn't sneeze on the Crown Jewels. 

We started the day at Pret Manger in Waterloo for breakfast. Kelsi had an almond crossiant. I had a chocolate one. Then, we went to Southwark Station. I planned originally to get an oyster card straight away, however, there were so many options that we ended up buying the day pass. Inside the station some nice attendant helped us with our route. I think we were both pretty wide-eyed at the amount of escalators at the Westminster's stop! 

White Tower

The room we were staying in had a Rick Steve's London book, which told us to buy tickets to the Tower of London online to save money and avoid the queue. We had to print our tickets, but they let us do so there. The book also recommended going straight to the Crown Jewels to avoid the lines. So that is exactly what we did, which was fine advice. We got in without trouble, but when we exited the line was already long, and when we walked by it later in the morning the lines were longer and longer still. Inside there were many and more jewels, from decorative weapons, crowns and necklace. It was really impressive!

After the jewels, we went back to the entrance of the Tower to get a tour with the Yeoman. The Yeoman tour is about an hour in length. It was quite funny and informative. There was a lot of information about the beheadings and the Princes in the Tower. I already knew a little bit about the Princes because prior to the trip I started listening to The History of England Podcast. I started from the beginning, but my podcast app also downloaded new episodes! I really like the podcast, the host has a good voice and even though I have already come back, I still listen to new episodes, though I haven't picked up where I left off from the beginning episodes! The newer episodes kept talking about the princes and said that he/we would get back to the princes and find out what happened to them. He had not gotten back to them by the time I left, but at the Tower I was able to learn the outcome. Anyway, I really recommend the Yoeman tour even if it is September and it's nearly 90°, and you have a horrible cold. I really loved the Abby it was so cute, but then I learned that is was a mass grave...!

After the tour we went to the White Tower. The tower showcases the line of Kings told by the armor that they wore. So there were lots of armor, swords, maces and etc to see. Very impressive. I liked reading the histories of the King's the best. The next stop was the bloody tower. It was good, but we almost missed it since we thought we had seen it before. Finally, we walked the wall. I liked the views of the city from the wall and the views of the Tower of London as well. There were armor and jewels in the wall tour as well, but I had already seen so much of both!

There was one other thing at the Tower that we saw. The Ravens. There are seven kept at the Tower. They are big and not afraid of people so they were funny to watch. 

After touring the Tower we went to look for a place to eat. We found a place called Tom's which had sandwiches. I had a meatball one, it wasn't what I was expecting, but it was still good. Kelsi had a veggie wrap. We ate pretty quickly and then went to Tower Bridge.

Tower Bridge

We had to cross the Bridge twice because the exhibit was on the other side! The exhibit was pretty cool. There was a lot of information about bridges and how that bridge was made inside. The best part was the sky platform. It is a glass floor that you can look down to the bridge, and river below. You can see cars pass and when the bridge lifts you can see boats cross under. We were able to watch a boat pass under. 

There is an additional part of the exhibit about the hydraulics, but we didn't do that part, it was hot inside and we decided to get refreshers instead. We had ciders from the Bridge House, a restaurant at the base of the bridge. We were also able to see the bridge life from our table next to the river!

After our refreshers, we went to St. Paul's and only managed to get a little lost! I liked watching all of the people out and about on the warm day, laying in the grass, jogging around, and taking it easy. It was great! 

By the time we reached St. Paul's it was closed for touring! So we waited outside to go in for the Evensong. So I was able to watch more people from a shady spot on the steps. The Church was beautiful! The Evensong was an interesting experience! The singing was not like the Tabernacle Choir, but it was nice all the same. I actually think visiting the Church for the Evensong was better than going for the tour. We were able to see the St. Paul as the Church not the tourist spot!

After the Evensong we went across the street to Go! Sushi. It has sushi on a belt. Kelsi was worried about the freshness of the sushi, because one of our friends was sick at a sushi place with a belt before. So we watch very carefully, and only picked up pieces that were just put down! The sushi in London is different, as expected there were no Las Vegas, Philly or Arizona rolls, and the California roll didn't have cucumbers! Also, some of the pieces were served warm/hot even the raw kind. It was still good sushi, just different. The curry helped clear my nose a bit!

Finally, Kelsi forced me to return home to rest, because of my cold. I guess I looked and sounded pretty poor. I was glad for some rest. We did make a stop to get some cold medicine. It was in blister packs this time, not the kind that is mixed with water. Hopefully that will help!