How I Picked a Donor

When I was first reviewing the different sperm banks I did preview the donor which helped me decide. So I already had an idea about the donors, but I tried to keep the search for a bank separate from a search for a donor. That way I was not overwhelmed by choices.

When I began my search for a donor I narrowed down by two things, eye color and height. I have blue eyes and of my siblings they are the most blue. So it is one trait that I would like to pass on if I can. So I filtered out the darker eye colors. Eye color is controlled by several genes, so it's not as simple as the dominant and recessive square that was taught in school, however having a donor with light eyes should help.

As for height, I narrowed down to anyone taller than my dad. My dad is 5'10" so I narrowed to 5'11". Once I filtered for those two things I sorted by height. Then, I began reviewing the profiles.

I found a few donors I liked, but when I showed them to my cousin Megan, she noticed that they had a risk of some diseases. So I put them aside. I wasn't going to rule them out, but if I could find donors without a risk then I thought I should take it.

That's when I found the catalog for the donors. It's a PDF on the website, it shows a baby picture, and gives a grade of health to the donors. The catalog was for 2018, since it was December I decided to hold off until 2019 came out.

So in January I renewed my search filtering by height and eye color again. Except this time, I set the height to 5'10" and up. I didn't realize this at first, but by the time I did I found a donor I liked, and the catalog said he had an A genetic test. The information on his profile said that he wasn't at risk for any genetic diseases. So I added him to my list. (Donor 1)

I had a few more donors I liked, but the catalog and health screenings helped me narrow down to 3 donors. From there I accessed the additional documents for the donors. Some had more baby pictures, a recording of the interview, the written opinion of the interviewer, and a Keirsey test. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter is similar to Myers Briggs except that Myers Briggs simplifies the traits where is Keirsey's is more of a sliding scale.

I am pretty skeptical of both, right now the Big 5 personality test has better credibility. So I didn't let this influence me too much.  However, when I went to my consultation last year my doctor said that I should pick any physical traits that I wanted, but to look for opposite personality traits. He said that this would make for more well rounded, and healthier kids. He gave examples, if you are athletic then pick someone musical otherwise you might have a kid with ALS, or if you are book smart don't look for another smart person because then you might have a kid with autism. I'm also pretty skeptical about this statement, but since the genetic tests and family histories were clear, I did look at the Sorter results. I know I am an INTJ (Architect), and Donor 1 was ENFP (Champion), Donor 2 was INFP (Healer) and Donor 3 was ENFP (Champion). I don't remember my scale exactly, but I think the donors seemed at least someone dissimilar to me. So I was confident that I had my short list.

After listing to the interviews, and looking at the baby photos, I decided that I didn't liked Donor 3 as much as Donor 1 and Donor 2. The baby pictures for Donor 1 and Donor 2 just had my heart thumping, and I didn't love tone of voice for Donor 3. I learned a long time ago that your brain will conclude a lot about a person just by their voice. Maybe this is based on biases of the brain, but I thought I should go with my gut.

What do I like about Donor 1. He has a cute baby picture. He seemed a little unsure in the interview at first, but I think that is to be expected in the situation, and I felt like it was more genuine. Even though he sneaked in under my original height criteria he said his little brother is taller than him. He also seemed more creative than me. Finally, the donors get named by the banks. It's unclear if the names are genuine or not. I have a feeling some are and some are made up. The name of this donor popped out to me. Ever since I was a little kid and throughout my life I always felt like this name would be very important in my life. I have never wanted to use this name as a name for a child or pet and I haven't really known anyone with this name. Yet the feeling is there. I'm not sure where it comes from, maybe it is a bit of synesthesia.

What I like about Donor 2. His baby pictures made my heart flutter. I thought that's my baby. Then, the interview was great. He had a nice voice and clear answers. He seemed very comfortable and relaxed. I also loved his answer on why he wanted to become a donor. It seemed like he really wanted to help give people a family. I just felt very comfortable listening to him. He also seemed more creative than me. Also, he doesn't have corrective lenses or had corrective eye surgery, this is a plus because I had LASIK.

Overall I think had a better impression for Donor 2, but there was nothing I didn't like about Donor 1, plus there is the name factor. Like I said before I will wait until I have to make a decision and then I will go with my gut. I thought about purchasing vials from both donors, but that puts me off. I will just choose one at this point. Will I pick the champion or the healer? I'll let you know when I make the final decision.